Facing Criticism with Strength and Grace
Dear Sisterfriend,
Let’s be real: No one enjoys criticism.
Here’s the truth: I’ve struggled with criticism. Maybe you have too.
As a pastor’s wife, it can feel especially personal. Whether it’s about you, your husband, or your ministry, the sting of harsh words can shake your confidence and make you question your calling. But what if criticism didn’t have to hold you back? What if you could learn to navigate it with grace, strength, and even peace? Let’s talk about how to handle criticism in a way that keeps you moving forward without losing your joy."
Facing Criticism with Strength and Grace
There have been times when harsh words made me want to retreat, to hold back from stepping fully into what God has called me to do. But I don’t want to live in fear of what people say. I want to live fully in God’s purpose, and I know you do too. So, how do we handle criticism in a way that honors God and keeps us moving forward?
1. Pause and Reflect—But Don’t Dwell
Not all criticism is valid, but some of it might hold a kernel of truth. Instead of immediately shutting down or getting defensive, ask yourself: Is there something I can learn from this? If so, make adjustments where necessary, but don’t let someone else’s words define your worth or your calling.
2. Feel the Feelings—Give Yourself Permission to Hurt
It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to feel hurt when criticism stings—God gave us emotions, and tears can be a healing release. Even Jesus wept, showing us that sorrow is not a sign of weakness but a part of being human. Instead of suppressing your feelings, bring them to God, let Him comfort you, and allow His presence to bring healing and peace.
3. Filter It Through God’s Truth
Whether the criticism is fair or completely off-base, God’s Word is our anchor. What does He say about you? He calls you chosen, beloved, and equipped for every good work. Let His voice be the loudest one in your life. When criticism comes, run to His presence—let Him refine you, strengthen you, and remind you of your identity.
4. Set Healthy Boundaries
Not every voice deserves a seat at your table. Some criticism is constructive, but some is just toxic. Learn to recognize the difference and give yourself permission to distance from voices that tear you down rather than build you up.
5. Keep Your Eyes on the Bigger Picture
If we let every piece of criticism derail us, we’ll never accomplish what God has called us to do. Ministry is hard. People will misunderstand you. But don’t let criticism shrink you. Keep your eyes on Jesus and the mission He’s given you.
6. Surround Yourself with Safe People
Not everyone’s opinion deserves space in your heart. Lean on those who truly know and love you—mentors, close friends, or fellow pastors’ wives who can offer wisdom, encouragement, and a godly perspective. Having a strong support system can help you process criticism in a healthy way.
7. Release It to God
Carrying the weight of criticism will only drain you. Instead of replaying hurtful words over and over, surrender them to God in prayer. Ask Him to help you see what’s true, let go of what isn’t, and find healing where it’s needed. When you trust Him with the criticism, you free yourself to walk in peace.
You Are Not Alone
Sweet friend, if criticism has been weighing you down, know this: You are not alone. Every pastor’s wife has faced it. But more importantly, God sees you. He knows your heart. He will strengthen you and give you wisdom. Keep pressing forward. Keep loving well. Keep serving faithfully. And above all, keep your heart anchored in Him.
You’ve got this—because He’s got you!
With love and encouragement,
P.S
Share your heart with like-minded women in our private Called 2 Ministry Facebook group.
